I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but tonight's episode was a bit of a snooze.

Last week set us up for so many twists and turns, but the fallout was pretty predictable.

Thanks goodness they didn't drag out Lynette thinking that Tom was cheating on her with Mrs. Schilling. Felicity Huffman's and Doug Savant's rapid exchange actually did make me giggle. And wasn't Lynette lucky that Porter walked through the door before Tom could piece together that Lynette thought he was cheating on her with Anne? That would have been misfortunate. For her.

I'll admit, I wasn't expecting Anne to say she was pregnant. And much like Lynette in next week's sneak peek, I'm not sure I believe her. Could she just be taking Porter for his money? Possibly. Which leads me to ask, what is up with his poor twin Preston? He's not getting any action, or screen time for that matter!

So, Ms. Hildebrand was trying to pull a Brad Pitt and have an insta-family with the Solises. Telling the girls to call her Grandma, yep, a little creepy. Carlos needed to be much firmer with his wife and say we shouldn't mix business with pleasure. Gaby didn't listen, and when it got too much for her, she handled it the typical, Gaby-in-you-face way. But even a blind man could see what was coming next: that Mrs. Hildebrand would claim a sexual harassment suit against Carlos for the big O. Still, it might be interesting to see how Gaby tries to get the family out of this one.

Catherine is sleeping with Mike. Thoroughly expected, if it came on a bit quickly. Didn't she just sex it up with Orson's former prison cell mate?

Oh, Susan and Jackson. It's just so boring. But I give props to Terri Hatcher for rocking it in just her bustier and panties, even if she hates that word. Whoever painted the picture of Susan gets props too. There was something hauntingly beautiful about it.

And Dave is criminally insane. Not much of a surprise. He's already shown his volatile temper. It will be fun to see how the McClusky sisters take him down. It may be the best slapstick comedy we've seen on TV in a long time…

Daphne Zuniga has gone retro, about 200 years worth, for her new movie Mail Order Bride, airing tomorrow night!

 

She plays Diana McQueen, a con artist from Boston who pretends to be the bride of an unsuspecting ranch hand in Wyoming to escape her violent tempered boss. 

 

I caught up with the Melrose Place alum and she filled me in on the hardest part about playing a con woman in a western romance flick: the dreaded corset.

“It literally rearranges stuff in there, so after the second week of wearing it, my waist was literally smaller," she exclaimed. "I would take it off, I would go home and be like, ‘This is weird. It’s supposed to go back to its normal shape.' But it didn’t for a while.”

 

And that's a bad thing?

 

There has to be a perk for roughing it in the film, and what more could you ask for than a handsome co-star in the form of Beautiful People's Cameron Bancroft?

 

“I was joking with the crew about," said Daphne. "I said, ‘Well, I’m out here in the wilderness with Cameron, and if some girl’s gotta do it, it might as well be me!’”

 

We can't fault you, girl!

 

Catch Daphne in Mail Order Bride Saturday, Nov. 8 at 9 p.m. on Hallmark. And read  Daphne's thoughts on returning to the new Melrose Place in the current issue of OK!

It’s official. We have a new president, President-elect Barack Obama.

I watched the election countdown go down at a party hosted by CNN. While chomping on burgers and pretzel bites, I watched electoral votes rack up on the giant screens all around the CNN Grill.

On hand was The Riches alum Eddie Izzard, who confirmed that the rumors of a movie version of the defunct TV series are indeed true.


“I was an elevator in London at an awards ceremony and Samuel L. Jackson looks at me and says, ‘So, what’s happening to your kid,’” said Eddie, referring to his on-screen son Cael, who was last seen getting duped by another group of Travellers.

“I told Samuel, ‘We don’t know at the moment.’ but I’ve posed to the heads of FX and TBS that we want to make a film. And they said, “Right, we’ll support you.”

Eddie hopes to raise finances for the silver screen version of The Riches on the Internet. He also wants to make it a “road move, shooting in Louisiana and New Mexico, everywhere that they steal,” he exclaims. “We’ll do it by the skin on our teeth.”

And yes, onscreen wife and new mama Minnie Driver will be involved.

“I haven’t met the baby, but I called her up and she said, ‘He’s looking at the phone.’ The baby was looking at her and smiling like he knew something. He must have known I was going to call her up and say, ‘We’re going to do a movie of The Riches.’”

Smart kid!

 

Till next week, fellow Fanatics!

On Ugly Betty, Meade Publications has a new employee, CFO Connor Owens. CFO definitely stands for cute financier, oh yeah!
 
Knowing this is a character I could seriously invest in, I called up Grant Bowler, who plays Connor, to find out his statistics. Grant revealed that Connor's alliance with Daniel is going to go south, fast.
 
"He kind of dumps that agreement with Daniel and lets it be known he's not going to be a stooge for him," Grant reveals. "Connor's playing for his own team and pretty much making his own decisions."
 
That includes getting into bed with Wilhelmina, literally.
 
"There's kind of a budding relationship between them," Grant reveals. "And it gets hotter and hotter. You could say the water's done, and you can throw the vegetables in.
 
Well, Wilhelmina did say she likes to get her needs met!
 
The Australian transplant is having a blast working with his co-star Vanessa Williams.
 
"She's been fantastic," he says. "We had full day of shooting scenes in a hotel room and I laughed all day. It's a great way to spend a day at work."
 
With Ugly Betty now being shot in the Big Apple, Grant is taking full advantage of his surroundings when he's not working.
 
"New York's changed so much since last time I was here," he says.  "I've visited the Museum of Natural History, the Bronx Zoo, lovely Park Slope and Brooklyn. And Alphabet City is a much nicer place to go for a drink at night."
 
But does Grant miss anything about his native Australian homeland? "At the moment, the temperature," he exclaims. "It's coming into the summer now. So when I phone home, everybody is telling me about having just coming from the beach."
 
Thank goodness Connor has Wilhelmina to keep him warm.
 
And if she doesn't work out, I also happen to reside in the Big Apple!
 
Catch Ugly Betty, Thursdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.